lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
