Kareoke will never be a sober sport
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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