He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Randomize
