i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
