Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Watching her eat just hurts me
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
