Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
