no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Randomize
