The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
We are all done wearing pants today
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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