i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
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