He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize