I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
