can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize