Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
