A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
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