Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
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