ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
