I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
