Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
