Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
