Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Holy shit dude........stairs
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
