so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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