thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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