the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize