I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
