I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
