i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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