i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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