I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
