Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I still have a little drunk in my system
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
Randomize
