Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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