Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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