Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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