You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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