So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
