Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
