On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
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