By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
