We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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