i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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