return my video game
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
