im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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