or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
