So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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