You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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