dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Randomize
