Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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