You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize