I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
