We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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