Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
