Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
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