I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
