I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize