Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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