I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
