I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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