It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
