Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
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