i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
