..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
